You might shake your head with painful memories of large dollar amounts lost, and swear on a stack of Bibles that you’re going to never again be foolish sufficient to engage in a shoot-out with the One-Armed Bandit, but who are you kidding? Maybe, with just a little luck, you will be able to resist the call of the slot machine for a few weeks, perhaps even a month or two. But you know damn well that you’ll be back for a rematch sooner or later. You cannot just let that Bandit win so quickly, can you? No way.
It is just a machine, in the end, with a “brain” comprised of wires and microchips. You, conversely, are a living, breathing entity with the capacity for critical thinking and self-reflection. If humankind is to possess any hope at all in surviving the global war against machines that surely will come some day, we’d better at least be able to beat the slots. Think of the matter in this kind of sweeping historical context and also you will see that it’s not simply a choice but an obligation for you to get back on the horse as quickly as possible.
Before launching on your noble quest in defense of humanity, it could be wise to review some basic information and arm yourself with five crucial tips to success.
You may not know that the slot machine goes on different names in overseas nations. For instance, in the United Kingdom, it really is called a fruit machine (no jokes about British drag queens, please.) In Australia, the slot is called a “poker machine,” which is much more confusing, but what can you expect from a culture that gives outdoor grills the name of just a little girl’s toy? (Let it sink in for a minute, you will get it.)
Anyway, traditional American slot machines are coin-operated and contain three or maybe more reels, which spin whenever a lever on the side of the equipment is pulled. The machines include a currency detector trusted online gambling site that validates the money inserted to play. The equipment typically pays off according to patterns of symbols visible in the event the reels stop.
OK, enough for the description. Fundamentally, onto those tips that have been promised a number of paragraphs ago:
Become intimately familiar with each slot machine’s payout schedule. Two identical slot machines will often have radically different payouts. This matters, people.
Look for advertised slot machines offering 96-98% paybacks. Most casinos usually have a number of banks or carousels of high percentage payback slots, which is in which you should play.
Join the casino players club wherever you gamble regularly. Casinos reward players for time and money spent. Even when you don’t hit the jackpot, you may still receive comps like meals, discount hotel rooms, and other perks.
This should be a no-brainer, but only play the slot machines you can afford and only spend money you may risk losing. Seriously.
Walk away when you are losing and become irritated. Playing slot machines is supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, not just a source of ulcer-inducing frustration. When it’s no longer fun, go get a drink and some fresh air.